Gifts Disappear, Memories Last Forever

After the New Year, Amy and I spent time cleaning out the basement and storage areas.  I am a ‘throw it away’ type of guy and Amy can sometimes be a ‘you never know, we may need this’ kind of girl.  It’s funny how God brings different people together.  There are pros and cons to both personalities.  We donated all of the stuff to needy people, clothes, toys, games, etc.  It made me think.  Many of these things were gifts; gifts to me, gifts to Amy, gifts to the boys.  It made me think how we spend so much time at Christmas, Birthdays, etc giving gifts to each other.  Although I do believe it is extremely important to live a generous life, it made me think how gifts disappear.  I think back to all the gifts I have received and the reality is that they eventually they wear out or break – they disappear.  But I think back to some of the greatest gifts I have received and they don’t revolve around material things.  They revolve around memories.  Sure sometimes memories cost money to create but the memory never disappears.  Memories Last Forever!  As a child, I remember the trips we took as a family.  I remember times sitting around the table laughing while playing games.  As an adult, I remember spontaneous trips with my wife, a water fight in the house between Amy and me (long story), picnics with my kids, and the look on my boy’s faces when we arrived at Disney World.

My challenge to us all is the next time you want to show appreciation to someone, make sure you are creating a memory.  On your spouse’s birthday, your children’s birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, holiday, weekend, etc, make sure to think about how to make this event last forever.  By creating a memory, you will.

Build Community Through Small Groups

Looking for a wonderful means of worshipping as a group? Why not lead your group in sharing the Lord’s Supper? If you’ve never done this before, the idea certainly seems daunting, but here is a simple form by which your small group can share this sacrament. 

Steps in Serving Communion

1. Out of the context of your own experience, say something brief about God’s love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, commitment, tenderheartedness or faithfulness. Connect your words with the personal stories of the group. For example, “These past few weeks I’ve experienced God’s mercy in the way he untangled the situation with my son. And I’ve seen God show mercy to others of us here too, especially to Jean and Roger.” If you prefer, you can write down ahead of time what you want to say.

2. Read 1 Corinthians 11:23-26: The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For whenever you eat this break and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.

3. Pray silently, and pass the bread around the circle. While the bread is being passed, you may want to reflect quietly, sing a simple praise song, or listen to a worship song.

4. When everyone has received the bread, remind them that this represents Jesus’ broken body on their behalf. Simply state, “Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us eat together,” and eat the break as a group.

5. Pray silently, and serve the cup. You may pass a small tray, serve people individually, or have them pick up a cup from the table.

6. When everyone has been served, remind them that the cup represents Jesus’ blood shed for them. Simply state, “The cup of the new covenant is Jesus Christ’s blood shed for you. Jesus said, ‘Do this in remembrance of me.’ Let us drink together.” Then drink the juice in a group.

7. Conclude by singing a simple song, listening to a praise song, or having a time of prayer in thanks to God.

Practical Tips in Serving Communion

1. Prepare the elements simply, sacredly, and symbolically.

2. Be sensitive to timing in your meeting.

3. Break up pieces of cracker or soft break on a small plate or tray. Don’t use large servings of bread or grape juice. You should think about using grape juice—and not wine—because wine can cause some people to stumble.

4. Have all of the elements prepared beforehand, and just bring them into the room or to the table when you are ready.

*Here are some other good Communion passages:
Matthew 26:26-29
Mark 14:22-25
Luke 22:14-20
1 Corinthians 10:16-21
1 Corinthians 11:17-34

7 Tips to Modeling Prayer for Your Connection Group

7 Tips to Modeling Prayer for Your Group

One of the most powerful aspects of Connection Groups is the opportunity to offer prayer requests, to pray together, and then to see how God follows through on those prayers. It’s amazing to see how God works over three months or six months or a year. Prayers gets answered, situations change, hearts change—your group sees God work in mighty ways.

Just as powerful as the group dynamic of prayer is the impact that a praying leader can have on his or her group. A praying leader ministers to the group not only by showing how much he or she cares about their needs but also by modeling a life of prayer.

As with most things, becoming a Connection Group centered on prayer doesn’t just happen. Here are 7 tips on how you can minister to your small group through prayer:

• Dedicate the last half hour of each bible study to “personal prayer needs” time.
• Write each member’s prayer requests down on 3×5 cards. Bring the cards to every study so you can check back on their requests.
• After the requests are given, pray immediately with your group.
• Set up a prayer-partner system where each member has another member praying for him or her, and vice versa.
• As a leader, continue to pray for each specific prayer request of each of your members (use your cards as reminders) daily.
• Call mid-week (or mid-session) to see how things are going.
• Call or e-mail whenever the Holy Spirit prompts you. God may use you to help answer a member’s prayer. If you feel the Holy Spirit giving you wisdom that could help a member in a quandary, let that person know.

Culture Builder #4: Intentional Fun

from Tim Stevens blog:

A friend told me recently he overheard a co-worker saying, “Just because we work together doesn’t mean I have to like you.” Really? How can we be pulling together, working for the same vision, attempting to achieve the same goals–if we are only tolerating each others’ presence? And do we think the people we serve are automatons and won’t pick up on the tension?

A senior pastor once told me that his attitude about his staff was, “I don’t want to be your friend. Just get your d*** job done.” And he couldn’t figure out why he had a high turnover rate.

It isn’t just a job. It’s not just about fulfilling a responsibility. It is also about doing life together. It is about having fun, working through conflict, accomplishing ministry, and yes–being highly effective in our jobs.

At Granger, we value chemistry and affinity as high (if not higher) than education, skills, experience and passion. And that is why we intentionally plan time to have fun. In the old days when our staff was much smaller, we would all hop on the shuttle bus and go to a movie, or out to eat, or miniature golfing. These days, much of that happens in a decentralized fashion.

For example, our communications team recently headed to a nearby town for an IMAX movie, our children’s team experienced a high ropes course together, and the arts staff gathered for a family pool party and cook-out.

The affinity doesn’t grow on its’ own. It must be nurtured with intentionality. It is worth an investment of time and money on “fun” to build a culture where your staff is energized and committed to each other for the long-term.

Culture Builder #3: Let Your Leaders Lead

Exerpt from Tim Steven’s blog:

We call it the “Loose/Tight Principle.” That is, you have to decide as leaders what you are going to hold on to loosely, and what you are going to hold on to tightly.

For example, you likely want to hold on to your mission tightly. It’s not up for debate. We have defined the mission, communicated it over and over in many ways, and it gives clarity to our direction. We have some major values and beliefs that are also in the “tight” category.

But there is so much that is in the “loose” category. We bring great leaders on the team and then free them up to lead. They make decisions, spend money, set direction, develop ministries–all without a huge approval process or a bunch of hoops to jump through to get permission.

Problems emerge in many organizations like this…

 And the cycle continues.

If you want to develop a healthy culture–decide the non-negotiables, then get out of the way and watch great people do great things!

 Bad hiring decisions are made.

• So senior leaders jump in and start running things.
• Then the organization starts to get bottle-necked and people get frustrated.
• So potential high-capacity leaders don’t want to participate.
• And the senior leader is too busy running things to properly interview potential leaders.
• So more bad hiring decisions are made.

Culture Builder #2: Always Believe the Best

Exerpt from Tim Steven’s blog:

Yesterday I started a series about building a healthy staff culture. First thought? Continually share stories through your organization from top to bottom.

Today I want to suggest that to have a healthy culture in your organization or business, you must believe the best about the others on your team. This is less about what you do and more about what you believe. It is less about strategy–and more about a discipline of your mind.

• When people come at your team, always believe the best.
• When you receive an anonymous accusation about someone, throw it away. Why? Because  you choose to always believe the best.
• When you hear one side of the story and there is every reason to believe that your staff members motives or intentions or actions were wrong…wait. Don’t react. Get the rest of the story. Believe the best.
• When there are two opposing sides and it isn’t clear what is true and what is false–always side with your team. Make the mental choice to believe the best in those who are standing by you and with you.

This isn’t natural. It is easier to assume the worst. It’s always easier to believe the gossip and fall prey to the slander. Sometimes it takes discipline and integrity to go against popular opinion. But your team will give their best, be at their best and perform their best when they believe you have their back.

I’m a pretty secure leader. But nothing takes the wind out of my sails more quickly than when I feel like I’m not trusted by my leader. If I know he loves me, trusts me, and has my back–then I can be the best at what God has wired me to do. That is true of most of us. Your team deserves your trust.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t deal with incompetence, bad attitudes, misaligned leaders or the sinful choices of others. It also doesn’t mean you should keep your head in the sand and not notice or deal with the obvious signs of trouble in the ranks. But those will be isolated situations. With most of your team, they need your undying loyalty and trust.

Whether they are below you, above you or next to you in position–your team will soar if they know you have their back.

Culture Builder #1 — Stories, Spotlights & Stuff

This is from a series of blogs taken from Tim Steven’s that I thought was really good.

Culture Builder #1 — Stories, Spotlights & Stuff For several years we have had a weekly ritual with our staff that has been HUGE toward keeping us focused in the same direction. Our entire team meets together every Wednesday and we spend an hour together doing three things…Stories, Spotlights and other Stuff.

Stories — we spend the first 15-20 minutes of every gathering sharing stories. We begin the conversation by saying, “Where have you seen God at work in and through the church in the past 7 days?” And then it is an open floor. We hear about changed lives in student ministry, small groups and children’s ministry. We find out about the person in Canada who wrote in after watching an online service. We hear about the experience of people who attended for the first time, and the baptism of another who has been away from church for decades.

Spotlight — Then we spend time putting one individual in the spotlight. With no warning ahead of time, we ask someone to sit up front and field questions from the rest of the team. We find out about their childhood, likes and dislikes, spiritual journey, spouse, hobbies and history. Then we stop the questions and say, “Now let’s tell [Jill] why we are so glad to have her on the team.” And one after another we tell her how her life adds joy and meaning to the rest of us.

Stuff — The final segment in our meeting is often for sharing inside information. It adds value to the team when they know stuff ahead of time. Sometimes we are talking about stuff that is coming, sometimes it is merely stuff we are thinking about and haven’t decided. These weekly gatherings keep everyone on the team energized and focused. We realize, “It’s not just about me or my department, I’m part of something bigger!” Even if we are having a tough week–for a few minutes we are pulled above that and realize again why it matters.

Balance in Children’s Lives

Amy and I had a discussion this week about our kids. The topic was the balance of activities in our children’s lives. We want to make sure that their lives are balanced. What is balanced, right? When I was young, I went to church so much that I got sick of church and pulled away as I reached upper high school. Maybe the amount of time I went to church had nothing to do with it. But, there is something to be said for balancing ministry life. As a pastor, I cannot allow ministry to pull me away from my responsibilities as a husband and a father. On the other hand, there are sports and other extracurricular activities. Our oldest and going into 2nd grade, Josiah, is very athletic. He enjoys sports. He is great at baseball, soccer, and basketball (not to mention others). He is trying out for a soccer travel team. Sports teach kids great things like teamwork, dedication, discipline, etc. So, the question of our discussion is where do you draw the line in order to keep balance? Lean one way and run the risk of not making the relationship with God the priority. Lean the other and run the risk of pushing them away from God. Being a part of sports can be a ministry if one takes that approach. But one has to be careful that involvement in sports doesn’t pull a child away from growing spiritually and connecting with other Christian children and more importantly God. Requiring children to do nothing but church stuff can actually push them away from God. What are your thoughts?

Memorial Day

I don’t know what it is about Memorial Services that always chokes me up.  I guess it has something to do with having a great appreciation for what was done so we could have our freedom.  I remember hearing stories from my grandpa and great uncle from WWII and can’t imagine what that would have been like.  Now they both are gone yet I still get to reap the benefit of their sacrifice.  I don’t think my generation gets this.  We are so consumed with consuming that we don’t know what we have.  We are so self focused.  For me, I know the Bible says to give honor to whom honor is due.  Today, I honor those who have followed the example of Jesus Christ and gave themselves as a sacrifice for my freedom.  Thank you.

Creating Team Players

Creating Team Players
Five ways to get everyone committed to contributing to your group

When it comes to getting everyone to participate in your small group, it’s important that you their leader know your level of openness is the primary factor in setting the tone for the group’s involvement and openness.

Along with that, here are 5 ways to get your small group members to participate in group life:

1. When you ask the first question, you should answer it first. When you’re done, simply ask, “How about somebody else?”

2. Don’t rush responses, but learn to enjoy silence. Wait patiently with roaming eye contact. You might count to 7 or say, “I can wait longer than you!”

3. As soon as someone says anything, affirm their response, whether it is a great answer or a one-word response. Make it safe for people to share their thoughts.

4. Ask for volunteers to read the Bible passage or a paragraph from a book. But don’t put anyone on the spot unless you know they don’t mind reading.

5. Pass the baton to another member to host the group next time. This will scare his or her socks off but grow his or her faith as a result.

Remember, God’s dream for each of your group members really is that over time each will grow to shepherd other people. The start they often need is simply reading in the group; then down the road they might facilitate a circle of three or four people for prayer. Eventually, Lord willing, some of them will go on to leading a group or mentoring a new believer.